Rebuilding trust after your partner cheats

Redi Tlhabi's conversation was triggered by an email she received from a woman who, five years on, is still battling to rebuild trust and intimacy with her partner who cheated.

Callers phoned in to share their own stories about infidelity and the difficulties they have faced trying to heal their relationships in the aftermath.

It is difficult, especially when you have been contacted by the other woman. it is difficult to trust. i'm not the kind of person who goes through my partner's phone, but since then, I do that.

Eliza from Johannesburg, caller

Eliza says the minute her partner leaves she starts asking herself, where is he, what's he doing and who is he with?

But she says with patience and commitment on the part of both partners, she believes after infidelity, it is possible to rebuild the relationship.

Once you've broken that trust, there's no going back, because the aggrieved partner will always want to go out there and double check and look over her shoulder all the time.

Thatelo from Kensington, Caller

Thatelo says love is not enough. Trust is key, and without it, a relationship will not work.

I am in that situation where I did break the trust, and I must say it is a tough situation. It has been two years ongoing where I am trying to rebuild the relationship...and rebuilding trust is the hardest thing you can ever do.

Abie from Johannesburg, caller

Abie says you have to be prepared to call and tell your partner where you are and who you are with all the time.

If you are cheated on, you immediately go into this defence mechanism and say how can they do this to me? But you have to look at what is going on in your relationship at the time of this affair.

Greg in Killarney, caller

Greg suggests that while you may think everything seemed fine in your relationship, something deep down may be missing. He does not condone infidelity, but he says in our complicated and busy lives, needs are not always met within relationships.

Listen to the full conversation below:

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