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What to do when you have a crush (but it's not your bae)

It is very possible to have feelings and physical attraction for other people while in a relationship, says clinical sexologist Dr. Eve.

What is important is how people manage crushes towards individuals who aren't their partners.

Dr Eve says people need to carefully consider whether they want to discuss their feelings towards 'crushes' with their partners.

Relationships are not confessionals. If we were to share every single thought that comes into our head, relationships wouldn't last longer than one day.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

She advises that those with crushes need to conduct a 'risk-benefit' analysis of some kind to determine whether spilling the beans is worth it.

Having a crush can be healthy, as long as it aligns with the values established in your relationship.

Crushes become a cause for concern once people fail to exercise impulse control, feel the urge to cheat or think of their crushes when being intimate with their lovers.

She warns that a crush should not have a negative impact on a relationship and should not intrusive in one's life. This is the point at which distance must be established.

Dr Eve explains that people often grapple with their 'crush' or attraction because of the traditional notions of monogamy and societal expectations of relationships.

Meanwhile, a study has shown that having 'crushes' can bring increased pleasure to relationships. It found that most crushes are developed towards co-workers, ex-lovers and close friends.

Listen to the the juicy conversation here:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : What to do when you have a crush (but it's not your bae)


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