Today's Big Stories

How to make sure your competitive streak doesn't get ugly

You can be 'top' of your game, without bringing others down.

Behavioural psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer advises that there's a nastiness to competitiveness, no matter what the field.

It's vital to recognise when your competitive streak becomes unhealthy.

When we feel we have to pull someone else down and discredit them so that we feel better, that's the nastiness.

Dr Helgo Schomer, behavioural psychologist

Competitiveness is a double-edged sword: it can be destructive and instructive, Dr. Schomer explains.

When it is destructive and unhealthy, people want to destroy and diminish anything standing in their way.

But when it is instructive and healthy, people can learn and grow from others.

Dr. Schomer warns that ugly competitiveness can become synonymous with greed, envy, narcissism, self-denial and jealously.

He advises that when competing, people must 'let go' and stop obsessing about the outcome, and rather focus on the creative process.

There may always be someone taller, smarter, prettier, stronger, faster or more skilled in life - but we must always participate and accept the need for balance.

How to stay on the right track when pursing your desires and ambitions:

  • do not compete with the best, surround yourself with the best
  • relax and harness calm energy
  • show generosity
  • focus on self-growth and strength

When the competition is shared, and seen as necessary social event to bring out the best in us, then it's healthy.

Dr Helgo Schomer, behavioural psychologist

When competition only glorifies one part or person, it's not healthy.

Dr Helgo Schomer, behavioural psychologist

Signs of healthy competitiveness:

  • appreciation for a challenge
  • generosity
  • positive thoughts
  • praise and encouragement

Signs of unhealthy competitiveness:

  • lying and scheming
  • self-sabotage
  • diminishing others
  • sinister thoughts
  • creating a false image of yourself

Listeners called in to share their experiences and questions about competitiveness.

Listen to Dr Schomer's expert advice here:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : How to make sure your competitive streak doesn't get ugly


Recommended

by NEWSROOM AI
Read More
Top 10 books for your kids to sink their teeth into

Top 10 books for your kids to sink their teeth into

South African children are encouraged to read from a young age, particularly relevant and local books that stimulate the mind.

Warning signs that you're suffering from work burnout

Warning signs that you're suffering from work burnout

Careers are demanding and sometimes we need a break when year-end fatigue kicks in. Listen to your body, advises Dr. Schomer.

Why your mood is important (and how you can control it)

Why your mood is important (and how you can control it)

Dr Schomer says people are able to influence their mood by manipulating their surroundings to be more desirable.

From friends to lovers... when it works (and when it doesn't)

From friends to lovers... when it works (and when it doesn't)

Can buddies become lovers without risking the friendship? Dr. Schomer looks at treading the line between friendzone and romance.

Why material things aren't everything (and when to let go of the stuff)

Why material things aren't everything (and when to let go of the stuff)

You don't have to be a billionaire to be happy, insists Dr. Schomer. Many people with a lot of money can still feel dissatisfied.

Easy ways to start chilling out

Easy ways to start chilling out

Stress and tension affects everyone. Although we can't wish it away, we can learn how to tackle it, says psychologist Dr. Schomer.

10 tips for students experiencing anxiety or trauma

10 tips for students experiencing anxiety or trauma

Psychologist Dr Schomer offers advice to students amid trauma from disputes with university management and various authorities.

Top 10 ways to get work-life balance right

Top 10 ways to get work-life balance right

A balanced relationship between your work and all other commitments in your life, and how they impact on one another, is key.

How adults can kick old habits (and keep aging minds young)

How adults can kick old habits (and keep aging minds young)

Tips on how to teach yourself something new and keep your brain fresh and on its toes, with psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer.

How to bring the best out of your misguided kids

How to bring the best out of your misguided kids

Psychologist Jeremy Bayer explores positive reinforcement and the fine line between praise and criticism during Family Matters.

Being an introvert does not mean you are shy - psychologist

Being an introvert does not mean you are shy - psychologist

Psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer explains the difference between introversion and shyness, and listeners share their experiences.

Popular articles
Standard Bank takes on Capitec Bank with low-fee account, gigabytes of free data

Standard Bank takes on Capitec Bank with low-fee account, gigabytes of free data

The account costs R4.95 per month; you get 1GB of free data. Swipe 4 times a month; you get 0.5GB of free data and R50 airtime.

'You can easily get a 15% total return from a share like MultiChoice'

'You can easily get a 15% total return from a share like MultiChoice'

Is there an investment case for MultiChoice? Arabile Gumede interviews Jacques Plaut, a Portfolio Manager at Allan Gray.

Huawei users in SA told not to panic over Android ban

Huawei users in SA told not to panic over Android ban

Google is suspending its business relationship with Chinese smartphone manufacturer.

ANC national executive committee finalising top jobs list for Parliament

ANC national executive committee finalising top jobs list for Parliament

Former National Council of Provinces chairperson Thandi Modise is expected to be the next speaker of the National Assembly.

[WATCH] Eusebius delivers emotional obituary for Kaizer Chiefs

[WATCH] Eusebius delivers emotional obituary for Kaizer Chiefs

The Glamour Boys lost the Nedbank Cup final to underdogs TS Galaxy on Saturday.

'It is very clear that Ramaphosa is under attack from Magashule and others'

'It is very clear that Ramaphosa is under attack from Magashule and others'

News24 editor-in-chief Adriaan Basson says there is a definite fight back from the ANC secretary-general against the president.

Schwarzenegger urges public not to give Sandton 'fan' the attention he craves

Schwarzenegger urges public not to give Sandton 'fan' the attention he craves

A video of a young man kicking actor and former US governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in the back on Saturday in Joburg went viral.