Streaming issues? Report here
702 logo Gradients 702 logo Gradients
Late Night Talk
00:00 - 04:00
volume_up
volume_mute

Up Next: Early Breakfast
See full line-up
Late Night Talk
00:00 - 04:00

Home
arrow_forward

Why the 'Blesser craze' isn't so black and white

5 December 2016 1:42 PM
There's a lot more nuance involved in the pursuit of nice things, explains Wits lecturer Dr Danai Mupotsa and first-hand blessees.

Wits lecturer Dr Danai Mupotsa says the so-called 'blesser phenomenon' is more complex than many perceive it to be.

What is a 'blesser' or 'blessee'?

'Blesser' is the buzzword used to describe an older, wealthy person (often a man) who provides material and financial support to a sexual partner.

'Blessees' or the 'blessed' are the recipients of the gifts and expensive luxuries during the courtship.

A blesser's level or status is defined by material means they can provide.

While the term 'blesser' has gained social currency recently, the 'blesser' role and relationship has been around for many years, Mupotsa explains.

She says the latest term 'blesser' has made the trend more desirable, replacing the less appealing notion of a 'Sugar Daddy'.

I think with a new word, things become cool... It helps us expand our language.

Dr Danai Mupotsa, Wits lecturer

A whole lot of 'grey' areas

While 'blessers' and 'blessees' have been strongly condemned, Mupotsa says the moral policing of these relationships often establishes double standards.

If we're gonna talk about money and power, then we must talk about sex and money and power - without sticking something dirty onto certain forms of relationships because of a moral impulse.

Dr Danai Mupotsa, Wits lecturer

In some cases, social inequality and patriarchy may be underlying issues in such relationships.

However, Mupotsa explains that there are different sets of conditions experienced by blessees - not all are driven by economics.

The experiences vary; some blessees may be economically oppressed while others are not structurally marginalised at all.

Mupotsa maintains that is important not to deny 'blessees' of agency, power, choice or desire.

She elaborated on the structure of romantic love, and the links between power and high risk sexual behaviour.

While the 'blesser phenomenon' may have invoked a moral panic, Mupotsa suggests that some marriages may be as equally unsafe.

She concludes that there is no singular experience or narrative when it comes to the craze.

Some listeners and blessees shared their opinions and stories of living the 'high life':


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : Why the 'Blesser craze' isn't so black and white


5 December 2016 1:42 PM

More from Today's Big Stories

anc-regalia-caps-merchandise-campaign-gearjpg

Veterans and ANC not on same page about terms of consultative conference

13 December 2016 4:15 PM

ANC vets want civil society groups present at the consultative conference, which they want held separately from another meeting.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

sabc-signjpg

Top SABC journos applauded for brave testimony

13 December 2016 2:21 PM

EWN's Gaye Davis summarises the evidence of the SABC journalists who appeared before the ad hoc committee in Parliament.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

child-baby-left-in-carjpg

If you're gona be a hero (and smash a car window), make sure you can prove harm

12 December 2016 6:07 PM

A criminal lawyer explains what leg citizens can stand on if they witness a child or pet locked in a vehicle in risky conditions.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

hlaudi-sabc-coojpg

SABC 'in contempt of court' if Motsoeneng reports for duty, says DA

12 December 2016 4:37 PM

The DA's James Selfe says it is not clear whether SABC's Hlaudi Motsoeneng will be either fired or suspended pending an inquiry.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

hlaudi-sabc-high-courtjpg

Tweeps throw shade as court shows Motsoeneng the door

12 December 2016 2:01 PM

A judge has ruled that Hlaudi Motsoeneng should not hold any position at the SABC and Twitter has wasted no time reacting.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

food-holiday-love-holidays-family-dinner-tablejpg

Why family traditions matter

12 December 2016 12:45 PM

Whether it's breaking bread or celebrating through song and dance, family rituals and traditions can create a sense of belonging.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

baskin-robbins-ice-creamjpg

Baskin-Robbins comes bearing treats for Cape's sweet tooths

9 December 2016 4:50 PM

Speciality ice cream brand Baskin-Robbins is filling bellies and the demand for artisanal ice cream in Mzantsi. We get the scoop.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

jeff-radebejpg

Radebe reassures and congratulates SA over dodging junk status

9 December 2016 3:45 PM

Minister Jeff Radebe says that Cabinet has noted all the concerns raised by international rating agencies.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

broken-glass-violence-domestic-abusejpg

Govt needs to rethink '16 Days' campaign, says professor

9 December 2016 2:35 PM

All the money spent on the two-week-long campaign could be put to better use, into on-going programmes and social interventions.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

passportjpg

New child passports in lieu of unabridged birth certificate next year

8 December 2016 2:02 PM

Families traveling overseas may have an easier time navigating the borders once the child passport is introduced in February 2017.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward