Three crucial things for every relationship (and why friends become your family)

Finding like-minded individuals to make a family is an important emotional survival mechanism, says clinical psychologist, Jeanie Cave.

Cave explains that some people create a family of peers with people who hold the same values.

However, this is not to say it is necessary to cut off from one's family of origin in all cases, but rather to seek resonance through friends as an additional family too.

She says every relationship requires emotional closeness, without which it would fail.

What is emotional closeness?

  1. Empathy- ability to acknowledge somebody's experience

  2. Congruence- being genuine

  3. Unconditional positive regard- unconditional love

Cave says some people may find that friends have become more than family.

In family, there are higher levels of unconditional positive regard. Your family is unlikely to cut you off because of the unconditional positive regard.

Jeanie Cave, clinical psychologist

But sometimes in family, there may not be as much empathy.

Jeanie Cave, clinical psychologist

Listen to the audio below for more details...

702 welcomes all comments that are constructive, contribute to discussions in a meaningful manner and take stories forward.

However, we will NOT condone the following:

  • Racism (including offensive comments based on ethnicity and nationality)
  • Sexism
  • Homophobia
  • Religious intolerance
  • Cyber bullying
  • Hate speech
  • Derogatory language
  • Comments inciting violence.

We ask that your comments remain relevant to the articles they appear on and do not include general banter or conversation as this dilutes the effectiveness of the comments section.

We strive to make the 702 community a safe and welcoming space for all.

702 reserves the right to: 1) remove any comments that do not follow the above guidelines; and, 2) ban users who repeatedly infringe the rules.

Should you find any comments upsetting or offensive you can also flag them and we will assess it against our guidelines.

702 is constantly reviewing its comments policy in order to create an environment conducive to constructive conversations.

Read More
10-year-old girl provides shoes and socks for those who don't have any

10-year-old girl provides shoes and socks for those who don't have any

Rubi Nates wants to help the less fortunate with shoes and socks in her drive and is encouraging others to do the same.

Stay-at-home moms can be feminists too (and other powerful insights)

Stay-at-home moms can be feminists too (and other powerful insights)

Working moms are not 'better' than stay-at-home moms. Both have to make tough choices, says writer and mother Kim Norwood-Young.

How dads can form healthy relationships with their daughters

How dads can form healthy relationships with their daughters

Dads raising daughters face difficult challenges. Psychologist Zamo Mbele advises how fathers can become more conscious parents.

Money makes the world go 'round (but sex makes it spin!)

Money makes the world go 'round (but sex makes it spin!)

Bruce Whitfield interviews "Dr Eve" Wasserman about her attitude to money (hopes and fears, successes and failures, etc).

How to repair a broken friendship

How to repair a broken friendship

A break-up between friends can cause major chest pains. Dr Schomer talks about the taxing juncture in life when a friendship ends.

The ethics of genuine friendship (and breaking barriers)

The ethics of genuine friendship (and breaking barriers)

Why true friends matters and the value of friendship across racial lines with columnist Sisonke Msimang and journo Karyn Maughan.

How to date your friend's ex without ruining your friendship

How to date your friend's ex without ruining your friendship

Dr Makgati Mokoena describes how one can possibly date their friend's ex without harming relations with their friend.

From friends to lovers... when it works (and when it doesn't)

From friends to lovers... when it works (and when it doesn't)

Can buddies become lovers without risking the friendship? Dr. Schomer looks at treading the line between friendzone and romance.

6 things you didn't know about menopause

6 things you didn't know about menopause

Menopause is the period in a woman's life cycle when menstruation ends, and Dr Roos advises how to manage menopause healthily.

Advice on how to mend broken relationships with friends and family

Advice on how to mend broken relationships with friends and family

Want to reach out to an estranged loved one, but not sure where to start? A relationship coach offers tips during Family Matters.

How to bring the best out of your misguided kids

How to bring the best out of your misguided kids

Psychologist Jeremy Bayer explores positive reinforcement and the fine line between praise and criticism during Family Matters.

Friendship dynamics: platonic friendships don't work...

Friendship dynamics: platonic friendships don't work...

What role does friendship play in your life? Would you rather do without it?

Do's and don'ts of workplace relationships

Do's and don'ts of workplace relationships

Dr Schomer talks about issues around workplace relationships, how to avoid misunderstandings and build positive vibes.

Family Matters: Learning consistent co-parenting after divorce

Family Matters: Learning consistent co-parenting after divorce

Children usually get caught in the crossfire after divorce. Family mediator Christof Sharp gives advice on effective co-parenting.

Family Matters: 10 parenting 'rules' that should be thrown out the window

Family Matters: 10 parenting 'rules' that should be thrown out the window

CapeTalk's Pippa Hudson looks at advice and rules parents should ignore and rather trust their own gut when parenting

Family Matters: Juggling life for working moms

Family Matters: Juggling life for working moms

The never ending balancing act that mothers go through finding the time for both work and spending key moments with their children is a perpetual struggle.

Family Matters: How to deal with loss and grief

Family Matters: How to deal with loss and grief

There are many published tips on how to deal with grief but this expert says there is no one pattern on how to handle loss

Understanding the psychology of friendship

Understanding the psychology of friendship

Dr Schomer looks at the psychology of friendship and the four layers that most people use to define their friendship circles.

Family matters: Women and girls are killed to restore family honour

Family matters: Women and girls are killed to restore family honour

What happens when family relationships are distorted by the most extreme forms of patriarchy, a concept called honour killings.

Family matters: Children need to learn an entrepreneurial mindset for the future

Family matters: Children need to learn an entrepreneurial mindset for the future

In a changing world, next generation may have to reinvent employment as we know it, creating business opportunities for themselves

Teach children the real meaning of 'LOVE' this Valentine's Day

Teach children the real meaning of 'LOVE' this Valentine's Day

According to Nikki Bush, Valentine’s Day is a perfect time for parents to explore the theme of love and what ‘I love you’ means.

Popular articles
Why the PAC wants South Africa renamed Azania

Why the PAC wants South Africa renamed Azania

Pan Africanist Congress's Narius Moloto explains why it supports the name Azania, a word which he says has Arabic origins.

Opinion:  Bishop Lekganyane is right

Opinion: Bishop Lekganyane is right

Stephen Grootes weighs in on comments made by the Zion Christian Church Bishop at the weekend.

Getting to know MP, Dr Makhosi Khoza

Getting to know MP, Dr Makhosi Khoza

Dr Khoza is admired by South Africans for her role in the SABC inquiry as a ANC member of parliament.

Who is Advocate Tembeka Ngcukaitobi?

Who is Advocate Tembeka Ngcukaitobi?

The EFF lawyer stole the show during the state capture report court battle.

How to make your first million

How to make your first million

Warren Ingram discusses his new book in which he shares practical ways for ordinary people to achieve financial freedom.

Meet the founder of Capitec Bank, named ‘Best Bank on Earth and Cheapest in SA’

Meet the founder of Capitec Bank, named ‘Best Bank on Earth and Cheapest in SA’

Michiel le Roux speaks about the fascinating story behind the little bank that has the Big 4 shaking in their boots.

3 easy questions could bag you R2000!

3 easy questions could bag you R2000!

WIN R2000! But only if you can prove you're a whiz of the MTN Biz Quiz by answering the following three questions...

Blesserfinder: Matching you with a sugar daddy near you

Blesserfinder: Matching you with a sugar daddy near you

Is social trend Blesserfinder, where girls are allegedly matching up with rich 'benefactors' in exchange for sex, a real thing?