Why being friends with an ex isn't always easy (or possible)

11 July 2017 1:00 PM

It takes both parties to build an amicable relationship after a break-up, says behavioural psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer.

Also read: Can you be friends with your ex or do you cut all ties? Here's some advice

Dr Schomer says that reflection and maturity are needed to work towards a healthy friendship with an ex.

But it's not always possible to be friends with an ex after a break-up, because of abuse or other toxic reasons.

In the case of divorced parents, Dr Schomer explains that exes can demonstrate friendship behaviour for their children to model, where possible.

Also read: Communication and co-parenting tips for divorced parents

He says that if friendship is not realistic, exes can form a civil, functional relationship for the sake of co-parenting.

It's normally okay to have a civil, functional, conversational relationship. It doesn't [always] have to buddy-buddy again.
— Dr Helgo Schomer, behavioural psychologist

Friendship with benefits, yes !
— #DaysOfStateCapture (@morubulaZA) July 11, 2017

We must only keep people in our lives if they make us feel good about ourselves and vice versa. The ones that hurt us must be dropped.
— BlueNip (@BlueNip) July 11, 2017