Consent is the cornerstone of healthy, safe sexual and intimate encounters, explains clinical sexologist Dr Eve.
Dr Eve says negotiating consent needs to be seen a positive experience that also helps sexual partners learn more about each other.
I don't think it's a burden. It's a wonderful, intimate conversation to be having.— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity.
It is clear, communicated, enthusiastic, ongoing, and can be renegotiated or withheld at any time.
Consent helps individuals explore their sexuality in safe, exciting, consensual ways.
It is not a contract or a predetermined agreement.
Dr Eve explains that there are problematic social rules and expectations that hamper the achievement of consensual sex.
She listed some of the myths and misconceptions that arise from patriarchal messaging in society:
- coercion from men will help persuade women to have sex
- all men want sex all the time
- women need to be convinced before agreeing to sex
- buying a person dinners, flowers, drinks etc. automatically earns you their sexual consent
- having sex once means you are entitled to another persons consent and sex
- a wife's duty is to provide sex to her husband
- A man has the right to have multiple partners
- online sexting is not infidelity
- watching porn is cheating
- masturbation is cheating
Dre Eve also described several real-life situations to help listeners reflect, share and better understand the concept of consent.
Visit Dr Eve's website to learn more.
Take a listen to the insightful discussion:
Here is what listeners on Twitter had to say:
Such an important conversation! No one ever talks about consent in sex ed. Biology gets the bulk of the attention.— Sanja Bornman (@Trojan_Pony) August 11, 2017
When you give her money in the morning it is called mavuso— MPHO MALEKA (@PHOHPHOSKI) August 11, 2017
This article first appeared on CapeTalk : 10 misconceptions about sex that thwart consent (and some complicated scenarios)