[LISTEN] Stories about coming out of the closet
Coming out as being gay to friends and family can be a very daunting and harrowing experience. It can be a complex process when you consider aspects such as the workplace culture, homosexual violence, and social dynamics.
In light of coming out to the world, Eusebius shared his own personal experience of how he came out to his father and friends.
I was 18 going on 19, and had just come back from Cape Town, says the radio presenter. After finding my first love online, I went on a ‘gaycursion.’
Eusebius says that he fell in love with a young man who is now a doctor, and found himself spending a week at his house. He adds that the young man's parents had no idea what was going on, but Eusebius suspects that there were curious about the nature of the relationship.
When he returned to campus, he was overjoyed with excitement. I melodramatically handwrote a letter to my father and sent it, I also started rounding up my friends to tell them that I was gay, he elaborates.
I wasn’t nervous telling my friends that I’m gay. I wasn’t nervous telling my dad.Eusebius McKaiser, 702 presenter
Eusebius says that he continued to live his best life, and found himself enjoying fruitful relationships, and recounts having to deal with the walk of shame on campus.
He tells of the emotional account when his father called him crying and proceeded to say that he read his letter. Eusebius adds that despite the long journey, his now on good terms with his father.
He loves my boyfriends; he talks to them sometimes more than he talks to me.Eusebius McKaiser, 702 presenter
My dad’s tears caught me off guard says Eusebius. When parents cry, it becomes very hard to take the moral high ground.
Eusebius recalls the unforgettable event of having a nun appear at his university residence. He adds that he initially thought she was there to inform him that there was a death in the family. The ironic thing is that years later, the nun left the nunnery and ran off with another man says Eusebius.
Joining Eusebius on the topic of coming out was gay crossdresser Jacky Tshokwe. To be honest, I had a different encounter, says Tshokwe.
I grew up gay and I had no reason to come out.Jacky Tshokwe, gay crossdresser
Tshokwe adds that getting older, there was a need to disclose aspects around sexual orientation in the workplace.
The township I grew up in was very supportive, and my community in Mamelodi was caring and they knew they were raising a little girl without boobs jokes Tshokwe.
Media was very accommodating, but when I started working in corporate, I had to change my look for the sake of being recognised and promoted.Jacky Tshokwe, gay crossdresser
You are not taken seriously when you are a crossdresser because you are wearing heels but your resume says mister.Jacky Tshokwe, gay crossdresser
Tshokwe says that having to change to suit the working environment was very uncomfortable.
You’re not living your day to day life as who you are. You’re living it to suit the companies culture so you can put bread on the table.Jacky Tshokwe, gay crossdresser
A few years ago, I had a TV interview with my mom and that was the first time I saw her cry, says Tshokwe, adding. that she was coming out to the public about the nature of raising a gay child.
Tshokwe says that there is so much discrimination within the gay community, especially with butch gay men and feminine gay men.
You’d find one saying that I cannot date you because you are too obvious and you’d expose me.Jacky Tshokwe, gay cross dresser
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This article first appeared on CapeTalk : [LISTEN] Stories about coming out of the closet