10 types of intimate betrayal (and moving relationship stories on broken trust)

Intimate betrayal goes much further than infidelity, explains clinical sexologist and couples therapist Dr Eve.

The feeling of intimate betrayal is a pain unlike any other, cutting at the core of a relationship and the ability to trust and love.

Lovers can feel hurt, disappointment, pain, anger and frustration towards their partner for a number of reasons, including being lied to, abused or stolen from.

Dr Eve says some intimate betrayals include:

  • a partner who withholds sexual activity
  • a partner who constantly criticises you
  • a partner who uses your joint finances secretively
  • a partner who uses your joint finances unilaterally
  • a partner who withholds affection from you
  • a partner who withholds personal relevant past history from you
  • a partner who withholds time from you
  • a partner who does not keep commitments
  • a partner who withholds emotional closeness from you
  • a partner who is always angry with you

Dr Eve says honesty, communication and commitment are key countering intimate betrayal.

Several listeners called in to share their touching personal experiences.

I experience a partner withholding sexual activity for about a yer of a three year relationship. It did tremendous damage to the relationship, myself esteem and how I was on a daily basis. I felt that it was a massive betrayal.

Mark, caller

I've ended my marriage of 12 years. My breaking point came when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I was admitted into hospital. My partner could not bring himself to acknowledge the betrayal of infidelity, financial and emotional abuse.

Mary, caller

I can't even have a normal conversation with my wife of 13 years. When I try to speak to her about something that hurt me in the relationship, I get told to shut up. I feel broken, never mind hurt.

Barry, caller

Visit Dr Eve's website for more.

Take a listen to Dr Eve's expert advice and listeners share their moving personal stories:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : 10 types of intimate betrayal (and moving relationship stories on broken trust)


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