There's a big difference between 'bad sex' and sexual assault or harassment, says clinical sexologist Dr Eve.
Dr Eve described 'bad sex' as follows:
You feel as if he takes the sex. It feels coercive and manipulative— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
She says that many women have low expectations of pleasure and often revert to resigned acceptance.
Dr Eve encourages women to reclaim their sexual agency and openly discuss matters of sexual pleasure and consent.
The conversation around consent is there. I think were we are struggling is implementing it.— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
We're expecting [consent] to be a yes or a no. It isn't that.— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
Consent is difficult. We have to keep talking about our stumbling blocks around it.— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
Men have been taught to manipulate and coerce women. It's messy.— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
I'm saying to women that it's time to stop accepting bad sex.— Dr Eve, clinical sexologist
Callers phoned in to share their personal experiences and Dr Eve offered her tips and suggestions on how to avoid bad sex.
I met this awesome guy and we dated for three months without being intimate. This one time, he came to my house and I was raped. He stayed over and the following morning he apologised. I never pressed charges and what's worse is that I never stopped dating him.— Thandi, caller
Men have an invaluable role to play.— Thabiso, caller
Visit Dr Eve's blog to learn more.
Take a listen to her expert advice during the Talking Sex feature:
surely there's a correlation between consent and bad sex. Is it possible to enjoy sex when one didn't even consent ?.. or when they simply do it for any other reason but personal pleasure..— MaRhadebe (@SboKaBhungane) February 16, 2018
@Eusebius @Dr_Eve jah neh this topic is bringing in so many layers , if anything highlighting the unjust conditions women are living under instead of being as light hearted as I would have assumed... don't know how to feel about it..— MaRhadebe (@SboKaBhungane) February 16, 2018
This article first appeared on CapeTalk : Women must stop enduring bad sex, says Dr Eve