Women must stop enduring bad sex, says Dr Eve

There's a big difference between 'bad sex' and sexual assault or harassment, says clinical sexologist Dr Eve.

Dr Eve described 'bad sex' as follows:

You feel as if he takes the sex. It feels coercive and manipulative

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Read: Why 1 in 10 women endure painful sex (and keep it a secret)

She says that many women have low expectations of pleasure and often revert to resigned acceptance.

Dr Eve encourages women to reclaim their sexual agency and openly discuss matters of sexual pleasure and consent.

The conversation around consent is there. I think were we are struggling is implementing it.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

We're expecting [consent] to be a yes or a no. It isn't that.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Consent is difficult. We have to keep talking about our stumbling blocks around it.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Men have been taught to manipulate and coerce women. It's messy.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

I'm saying to women that it's time to stop accepting bad sex.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Also read: 10 misconceptions about sex that thwart consent (and some complicated scenarios)

Callers phoned in to share their personal experiences and Dr Eve offered her tips and suggestions on how to avoid bad sex.

I met this awesome guy and we dated for three months without being intimate. This one time, he came to my house and I was raped. He stayed over and the following morning he apologised. I never pressed charges and what's worse is that I never stopped dating him.

Thandi, caller

Men have an invaluable role to play.

Thabiso, caller

Visit Dr Eve's blog to learn more.

Take a listen to her expert advice during the Talking Sex feature:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : Women must stop enduring bad sex, says Dr Eve


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