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Why many couples today are struggling with marriage

The institution of marriage is not what it used to be.

Many modern married couples find themselves unhappy and dissatisfied, says clinical sexologist Dr Eve.

This is partly due to changing expectations of what marriage should be and a lack of investment in the relationship.

Read: Women must stop enduring bad sex, says Dr Eve

Dr Eve says there's a big difference between being in a happy marriage and being in a meaningful one.

She advises that many modern couples need marriage to be a safe space for self-expression and self-actualisation.

Also read: Is marriage overrated? Listeners share differing views

The self-expressive marriage prioritises emotional and psychological needs and the aim of fulfilling a higher purpose.

It is meaningful and doesn't just seek basic or material expectations, according to Dr Eve.

Couples in self-expressive marriages expect more from their relationships. They want to experience personal growth, self discovery and passion.

Dr Eve stresses that meaningful marriages require a great deal of time and investment - which many couples fail to achieve.

Self-actualisation means you want more personal growth, personal discovery and a partner that is fully present, who helps you realise your dreams and your couple dreams.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

I think marriage is very useful. I see it as a container. It makes people exhale and be able to be fully present.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Self-actualisation means you are able to be represented in the world in the way that makes you feel the most happy.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

What are you seeking in your marriage? Do you want basic needs or do expect more?

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

We want these elevated, amazing marriages, but we are not investing time and energy into them.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Don't expect to have the kind of marriage that you are looking for if you aren't willing to invest in.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Dr Eve maps the evolution of marriage and shares advice to listeners who share their personal stories.

She recommends that couples read Eli J.Finkel's insightful book "The All-Or-Nothing Marriage".

Visit Dr Eve's blog to learn more.

Take a listen to the thought-provoking conversation:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : Why many couples today are struggling with marriage


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