Eleven years after murdering her drug addict son, Ellen Pakkies says she simply wanted to stop his downward spiral into addiction.
Pakkies trial for murder made headlines in 2007 after she strangled to death 20 year old Abie.
The story has been adapted into a film and will premier in cinemas this Friday.
It has already been screened at the Rotterdam International Film Festival and was chosen to compete at the 44th Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF).
Pakkies and the film director Daryne Joshua joined Azania to talk about the movie.
They asked me four years ago to make a movie and I did not know what to say. The movie is out to make a change in our youths lives so they know that drugs is not the way forward.— Ellen Pakkies
It became so bad, I thought he was going to rape me. Today is even worse, because so many mothers go through the same pain.— Ellen Pakkies
In creating the film, Joshua says it was important to humanise Abie.
Even addicts are sons, brothers... they are people before they touch drugs.— Daryne Joshua, director
What it [tik] does to you is, according to psychoanalysis. it changes your personality. So all the emotional ties he had with you, that is eroding. They reach a point where they are sociopaths toward you and the family.— Daryne Joshua, director
Pakkies describes Abie before the drugs.
Abie was very helpful, kind, very supportive. He liked all kinds of sports and he really wanted to be a dancer. He loved music.— Ellen Pakkies
She says while she still feels the pain of losing her son, she does not feel guilty.
The Lord took my guilt away. The only thing I feel now is the pain of losing my son and pain for mothers going through a similar thing. I don't feel guilt because I know what I did was wrong...— Ellen Pakkies
Click on the link below to listen to the audio version....