How to help your kids get up again after failure or disappointment

How can parents teach children (and themselves) to deal with failure or setbacks?

Clinical psychologist Ruth Ancer says the children and parents may have different ideas of what failure means.

She cautions parents not to become overinvested in their children's success as a sign of their value.

Read: Lessons on how to raise resilient kids

Ancer says parents need to ensure that their children feel supported unconditionally.

Parents need to show their children that they are there for them and that it's okay to sometimes fail.

Failure is a part of life, Ancer says

Also read: Expert tips on how to raise babies and kids with anxiety

She explains that failure can often teach children resilience and lessons on dealing with disappointment.

Ancer advises that it's important for children to develop their own values, without having parent live vicariously through them.

The first step is being very self-aware of what failure means to you.

Ruth Ancer, clinical psychologist

The important thing for parents is that they create a relationship for their children where the children know that they are supported unconditionally, that they don't get loved because they get an A symbol or make the 1st rugby team.

Ruth Ancer, clinical psychologist

It's okay to sometimes fail. Failure is part of life.

Ruth Ancer, clinical psychologist

If we try too hard to protect our children from ever failing, they'll never learn to tolerate disappointment.

Ruth Ancer, clinical psychologist

The fact is, life is unpredictable. We do fall. And we have to learn to get up, even it can sometimes take a long time.

Ruth Ancer, clinical psychologist

The clinical psychologist shared her expert advice and callers shared their personal experiences.

Listen to the discussion on The Family Matters on The Eusebius McKaiser Show:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : How to help your kids get up again after failure or disappointment


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