When watching porn is OK...and when it's not

Relationship and sex therapist, Riaan van Wyk speaks to CapeTalk's Refilwe Moloto about some of the negative perceptions around the use of pornographic material - despite it being one of the most pervasively searched categories on the internet.

Porn receives a great deal of negative judgement in the media and is therefore regarded by many as taboo.

Read: Talking Sex: How couples cope with differing sex drives

It is a topic that is vilified in the media to a large degree.

Riaan van Wyk speaks, Relationship and sex therapist

However, Van Wyk says human beings are fundamentally sexual beings and it is not surprising that pornography is so popular.

Science has shown that we have a right to express our sexuality as human beings and it is our fundamental right even in our marriages.

Riaan van Wyk speaks, Relationship and sex therapist

Van Wyk disapproves of the notion that watching porn should be viewed as cheating on your partner. However, it should be done with respect for that partner.

As part of the relationship you want your partner to feel safe and I think one should look at the ethics of porn use in a relationship to protect it.

Riaan van Wyk speaks, Relationship and sex therapist

If it is in such a manner that the one partner is averse to that, then it is something that you should not share in relation with that partner. But you should be allowed to view it in private as long as it doesn't damage your relationship.

Riaan van Wyk speaks, Relationship and sex therapist

He adds that if porn viewing starts affecting one's social life and work, then it is a psychological problem and needs to be dealt with professionally.

Too much of something can't be good for you.

Riaan van Wyk speaks, Relationship and sex therapist

You need to open up communication and validate one another in your relationship. A strong relationship is developed when you can create a safe space where you can express and yourself without judgement...

Riaan van Wyk speaks, Relationship and sex therapist

To hear the rest of the conversation, listen below:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : When watching porn is OK...and when it's not


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