It's a tough world out there - practise some self-love

Do we love ourselves enough and why is it important to do so?

Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane explores the concept of self-love on Weekend Breakfast with Phemelo Motene.

Jiyane believes society has conditioned us to become 'doing beings' - to do things outside of ourselves.

She says to be able to love ourselves, we need to shift focus and instead examine what is happening inside ourselves.

That's why it becomes an unnatural place to look for love, because when we are looking for love, we are looking at another.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

You become like a car that's running on empty.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

It feels like self-care and self-love and being self-serving then gets construed as being selfish. But of course there is a line where it can become selfish.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

She says the more we are disconnected, the deeper the risk of loneliness which can have serious, even life-threatening effects.

Loneliness is that sense of separation and disconnection. The deeper we are in that stage, the deeper we spiral into a depression.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

But how do we implement that process of self-love?

Jiyane says it starts with investing time in yourself to find out who you are at your core.

That's the self that we need to love most importantly, rather than the external self which is the convenient one.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

She acknowledges how deeply we are affected by biological and social influences, saying the language of love is written into us by significant others.

We learn who we are and how to love ourselves through how we've been loved.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

If introspection delivers a picture of yourself that you don't like, Jiyane says, you must remember that is not the complete picture - there are virtues in all of us.

She says embracing who you are is the first step to start changing that which you don't like.

For more important insights from Jiyane, listen below:


Recommended

by NEWSROOM AI
Read More
[LISTEN] Nduduzo Makhathini: a musician who doesn't want to be categorised

[LISTEN] Nduduzo Makhathini: a musician who doesn't want to be categorised

In studio with Phemelo, the 'jazzman' talks about his personal cosmology and how it plays into his compositions.

New tax return threshold: 'If in doubt, file anyway'

New tax return threshold: 'If in doubt, file anyway'

Certified financial planner Paul Roelofse explains why, even if you do meet the exemption criteria, it's still good to have continuity with Sars.

'No repeat policy at foundation phase would have dire consequences for society'

'No repeat policy at foundation phase would have dire consequences for society'

Parenting expert Nikki Bush and Phemelo Motene have a hard-hitting conversation about the Basic Education Department's plans .

Was apartheid regime involved in UN chief's death and African Aids plot?

Was apartheid regime involved in UN chief's death and African Aids plot?

Andreas Rocksén, producer of new documentary 'Cold Case Hammarskjöld', speaks to Phemelo Motene.

Activist Beverley Ditsie receives honorary doctorate from US university

Activist Beverley Ditsie receives honorary doctorate from US university

In 1995, the LGBTI activist became the first African lesbian to address gay and lesbian rights before the UN.

Outwitting scammers: 'If in doubt, opt out'

Outwitting scammers: 'If in doubt, opt out'

Certified financial planner Paul Roelofse says your best weapons against being caught in a scam are vigilance and suspicion.

Popular articles
The fascinating story of WeBuyCars (and why Naspers is pumping billions into it)

The fascinating story of WeBuyCars (and why Naspers is pumping billions into it)

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews WeBuyCars founder Faan van der Walt for his weekly "ShapeShifter" feature.

[LISTEN] Jacques Pauw and NB Publishers issued with summons for R35m

[LISTEN] Jacques Pauw and NB Publishers issued with summons for R35m

Former State Security Agency director general Arthur Fraser says he has suffered repuational damage because of Pauw's book.

[WATCH] A group of men load impala carcass in taxi at Kruger National Park

[WATCH] A group of men load impala carcass in taxi at Kruger National Park

Khabazela shares tweets and Facebook posts that have gone viral.

Innovative medical glue replaces stitches and staples

Innovative medical glue replaces stitches and staples

Bio-Technology Ph.D. student at the Israel Institute of Technology Alona Shagan explains device similar to a standard glue gun.

[VIDEO] DA's Van Damme accuses family of racism, V&A Waterfront apologises

[VIDEO] DA's Van Damme accuses family of racism, V&A Waterfront apologises

The Democratic Alliance MP claims she was subjected to a racist tirade at Cape Town's V&A Waterfront and wants action taken.

I’ve never seen anything like this! – Simon Brown on Old Mutual vs Peter Moyo

I’ve never seen anything like this! – Simon Brown on Old Mutual vs Peter Moyo

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews Simon Brown, Financial Educator at Just One Lap.

[WATCH] Volkswagen’s new feel-good Kombi ad 'Cupcake Boss' is brilliant

[WATCH] Volkswagen’s new feel-good Kombi ad 'Cupcake Boss' is brilliant

Advertisers traditionally warn against working with children. In this ad it works beautifully, says ad expert Andy Rice.

Court orders Gupta-linked Trillian to pay back R600 million to Eskom

Court orders Gupta-linked Trillian to pay back R600 million to Eskom

It also ordered the company to pay for all the costs of the application. Bruce Whitfield interviews EWN’s Clement Manyathela.

Comparing milk prices across Africa suggests the rand may get stronger

Comparing milk prices across Africa suggests the rand may get stronger

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews Neville Mandimika, Africa Strategist at Rand Merchant Bank.