Do we love ourselves enough and why is it important to do so?
Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane explores the concept of self-love on Weekend Breakfast with Phemelo Motene.
Jiyane believes society has conditioned us to become 'doing beings' - to do things outside of ourselves.
She says to be able to love ourselves, we need to shift focus and instead examine what is happening inside ourselves.
That's why it becomes an unnatural place to look for love, because when we are looking for love, we are looking at another.— Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist
You become like a car that's running on empty.— Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist
It feels like self-care and self-love and being self-serving then gets construed as being selfish. But of course there is a line where it can become selfish.— Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist
She says the more we are disconnected, the deeper the risk of loneliness which can have serious, even life-threatening effects.
Loneliness is that sense of separation and disconnection. The deeper we are in that stage, the deeper we spiral into a depression.— Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist
But how do we implement that process of self-love?
Jiyane says it starts with investing time in yourself to find out who you are at your core.
That's the self that we need to love most importantly, rather than the external self which is the convenient one.— Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist
She acknowledges how deeply we are affected by biological and social influences, saying the language of love is written into us by significant others.
We learn who we are and how to love ourselves through how we've been loved.— Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist
If introspection delivers a picture of yourself that you don't like, Jiyane says, you must remember that is not the complete picture - there are virtues in all of us.
She says embracing who you are is the first step to start changing that which you don't like.
For more important insights from Jiyane, listen below: