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[LISTEN] Starting over after making 'mistakes'

You've made a mistake, you feel gutted, perhaps even fall into a depression. How do you successfully pick yourself up and start afresh?

Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane sees life as a school and while it may often seem like an obstacle course, the key is re-interpreting our self-doubt when we stumble.

We are here to learn and to teach. We are each other's fellow-travellers on this journey as teachers and learners.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Life comes down to the quality of what we say yes to and what we say no to.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

But how do you turn over a new leaf after a 'mistake'?

Jiyane says it is our 'social scripting' that makes us believe we are not allowed to make what we, or society sees as mistakes.

Our brains absorb and hold on to our experiences from childhood, like a chamois - or chammy - cloth.

Then, she says, we try to make sense of, and interpret events with the little experience that we have.

As human beings we are trying to make sense of any experience, we are connecting the dots - it's actually biological.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Jiyane believes it's about bouncing back, before bouncing forward.

We need to bounce back first... First you need to recognise what just happened. Life is calling us to attention all the time.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Recognise you have committed an error of judgment, acknowledge it, accept it, embrace it.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Because learning often comes through painful experiences, it is easy to get derailed - don't let the pain overshadow the lesson, advises Jiyane.

That's the beauty of life, that there is a new page.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Recognise that there is a new page, that nothing is final.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

For more insights into 'starting over', take a listen:


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