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Signs you've got dating Deja-Vu: How to stop dating the same type of person

Do you ever get the feeling, in your intimate relationships, that you've been here before?

That the patterns and behaviours being acted out by you and your partner are rather too familiar?

Well, then you're not alone.

A new study at the University of Toronto finds that people typically date a certain type of partner and that they usually gravitate toward this type, regardless of the circumstances.

Counselling psychologist Jeremy Bayer explains why:

We are creatures of habit...your body is wired to familiar things and you don't even think about it.

Jeremy Bayer, Counselling psychologist

Bayer says it all starts in childhood and our relationships with our parents - where we first learn how to relate to others.

Often, if you grew up around violent people, addicts, or those who are not emotionally available, as an adult you already know how to deal with that person.

Jeremy Bayer, Counselling psychologist

So how do you go about avoiding a 'Groundhog Day' style of dating?

Bayer says it's all about being able to identify trends in your relationships.

The key is to pick up these behaviour patterns, to look for similarities, to analyse them and see why you're attracting that. That's the way to deal with that.

Jeremy Bayer, Counselling psychologist

Listen to the full interview below:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : Signs you've got dating Deja-Vu: How to stop dating the same type of person


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