Has your partner ever cheated on you?'
What was your healing process and have you moved on from that experience?
Eusebius McKaiser speaks clinical sexologist Dr Eveabout what infidelity is and the process of healing.
Infidelity is mostly a betrayal of trust and a secret that people keep from each other because we really hate to feel not special and feel a secret is being kept from us by a partner.— Dr Eve, Clinical sexologist
The question that I feel is vital is: will this cause pain to my partner if my partner knows what I am doing? If the answer is going to be yes then you know that is infidelity.— Dr Eve, Clinical sexologist
Dr Eve details tips on what not to do in her blog. Here are some points.
TIPS ON WHAT NOT TO DO :
- Do not make any major decisions for the next 6 or so weeks. Crisis lasts for 6 weeks and only then can your brain think cognitively and reasonably.
- If there is abuse of any kind, especially physical abuse, plans to be physically apart for awhile must be effected.
- Do not beat yourself up when you crave sex with the person who injured you. It is a natural way of trying to reclaim what is yours and to restore your equilibrium into familiarity.
- Do not assume things will be like they once were. Infidelity happened as both of you as individuals and your relationship, was vulnerable to infidelity. This is now an opportunity for trauma a growth- for creating a new relationship
- Ignoring that infidelity occurred, and merely moving on. Talking, acknowledging, taking responsibility and showing your injured partner empathy are essential tools of healing. Going through this process is the healthiest way for “moving on” ** Rushing through the healing process is a mistake, I know you want the nightmare to be over, the pain to be gone. The only way is through the pain. Endure this initial discovery pain now to prevent being stuck in this grief state forever.
Listen to the full interview below...