argument-bench-breakup

Letting go and moving on after a relationship ends

Dealing with a divorce or the end of a relationship takes a heavy toll - there's raw emotional pain to deal with, possibly shame and guilt.

On Weekend Breakfast, Gushwell Brooks asks clinical psychologist Dimakatso Maboea for her advice on acceptance and moving on after a breakup.

She says it often hinges on how we deal with receiving an "unfavourable truth" from a partner.

We need to be careful about how we receive this unfavourable truth - it's the truth of the other, it doesn't say anything about me.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I need not assume if a relationship ends, that I have done something wrong or I'm not good enough.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I'll still need to search at a later stage if I have a bearing in it, a responsibility.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

She says it's wise to limit the information you receive about an ex-partner.

Also make a break, at least temporarily, with those things that will trigger memories of the person.

Announce perhaps to your family and friends that they need not give you information about the other - what he's doing, when he's getting promoted...

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I think protect yourself and be kind to yourself.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

Also small things like the favourite bottle of wine we had together, cut that out a bit. The music we listened to, find another genre. If it was RnB, maybe you want to start listening to jazz.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

Maboea suggests picking one friend to confide in, rather than letting everyone in your circle in on the details of what happened. This also protects you from divergent views on how you should be moving forward.

For more advice on surviving a breakup, click on the link below:


Recommended

by NEWSROOM AI
Read More
Heritage: 'A paradox of beauty and burden'

Heritage: 'A paradox of beauty and burden'

Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane says heritage is different to legacy, which is what we go forward and DO with our heritage.

The Rule of 72 - taking charge of your own investment

The Rule of 72 - taking charge of your own investment

Certified financial planner Paul Roelofse explains how the 'magic' number will help you focus on increasing your returns.

Rhino anti-poaching campaigns: Where is the money going?

Rhino anti-poaching campaigns: Where is the money going?

On World Rhino Day, conservationist Tim Neary takes a hard look at South Africa's anti-poaching record.

Red flags to look out for when entering a new relationship

Red flags to look out for when entering a new relationship

Clinical sexologist Dr Eve says more research is coming out to show that men who abuse women are more likely to be narcissists.

Signs you've got dating Deja-Vu: How to stop dating the same type of person

Signs you've got dating Deja-Vu: How to stop dating the same type of person

A new study finds that we typically gravitate towards and date a certain type of person, no matter the circumstances.

How should single parents tell their children about their  break-ups?

How should single parents tell their children about their break-ups?

Callers on the Eusebius McKaiser discuss whether single parents should tell their children about their different break-ups.

Popular articles
Audi Q8 'marries elegance and practicality', but it comes at a price

Audi Q8 'marries elegance and practicality', but it comes at a price

'Large and in-charge' - Motoring journalist Naresh Maharaj rates Audi's new luxury SUV offering.

4 things you should never say if you want to get rich

4 things you should never say if you want to get rich

Don’t ever say or, worse, believe any of these wealth-destroying platitudes, implores personal finance expert Warren Ingram.

Fraudsters are getting professional, scamming consumers with ingenious methods

Fraudsters are getting professional, scamming consumers with ingenious methods

“It makes all of us a target to fraudsters,” warns Manie van Schalkwyk of the South African Fraud Prevention Service.

'We have evidence that the EFF and Julius Malema took bribes for tenders'

'We have evidence that the EFF and Julius Malema took bribes for tenders'

Arabile Gumede interviews Stefaans Brummer, a journalist at the amaBhungane Centre for Investigative Journalism.

Forensic investigator pokes holes in Watson death probe

Forensic investigator pokes holes in Watson death probe

The recent findings of a private pathologist ruled out suicide as the cause of death of the former Bosasa boss.

46 women rescued in Joburg sex trafficking raid

46 women rescued in Joburg sex trafficking raid

An expert on human trafficking explains how the syndicate operates and how women are lured into dens.