argument-bench-breakup

Letting go and moving on after a relationship ends

Dealing with a divorce or the end of a relationship takes a heavy toll - there's raw emotional pain to deal with, possibly shame and guilt.

On Weekend Breakfast, Gushwell Brooks asks clinical psychologist Dimakatso Maboea for her advice on acceptance and moving on after a breakup.

She says it often hinges on how we deal with receiving an "unfavourable truth" from a partner.

We need to be careful about how we receive this unfavourable truth - it's the truth of the other, it doesn't say anything about me.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I need not assume if a relationship ends, that I have done something wrong or I'm not good enough.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I'll still need to search at a later stage if I have a bearing in it, a responsibility.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

She says it's wise to limit the information you receive about an ex-partner.

Also make a break, at least temporarily, with those things that will trigger memories of the person.

Announce perhaps to your family and friends that they need not give you information about the other - what he's doing, when he's getting promoted...

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I think protect yourself and be kind to yourself.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

Also small things like the favourite bottle of wine we had together, cut that out a bit. The music we listened to, find another genre. If it was RnB, maybe you want to start listening to jazz.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

Maboea suggests picking one friend to confide in, rather than letting everyone in your circle in on the details of what happened. This also protects you from divergent views on how you should be moving forward.

For more advice on surviving a breakup, click on the link below:


Recommended

by NEWSROOM AI
Read More
Investigating SA's captive lion breeding industry and the lion bone trade

Investigating SA's captive lion breeding industry and the lion bone trade

Richard Peirce discusses his documentary 'Lions, Bones & Bullets', which follows the trade to the Far East.

'I think govt exists for the most vulnerable' - Midvaal mayor Bongani Baloyi

'I think govt exists for the most vulnerable' - Midvaal mayor Bongani Baloyi

Baloyi became SA's youngest mayor in 2013. He talks about 'being born into politics' and the principles that guide him.

Open day season: How to choose the best school for your child

Open day season: How to choose the best school for your child

Parenting expert Nikki Bush has valuable pointers on what to keep in mind when matching your child to a school.

Red flags to look out for when entering a new relationship

Red flags to look out for when entering a new relationship

Clinical sexologist Dr Eve says more research is coming out to show that men who abuse women are more likely to be narcissists.

Signs you've got dating Deja-Vu: How to stop dating the same type of person

Signs you've got dating Deja-Vu: How to stop dating the same type of person

A new study finds that we typically gravitate towards and date a certain type of person, no matter the circumstances.

How should single parents tell their children about their  break-ups?

How should single parents tell their children about their break-ups?

Callers on the Eusebius McKaiser discuss whether single parents should tell their children about their different break-ups.

Popular articles
Levels of child hunger have decreased in SA but concerns remain around stunting

Levels of child hunger have decreased in SA but concerns remain around stunting

Joanne Joseph speaks to University of Cape Town Children’s Institute's communications and education specialist Lori Lake.

Public Protector makes damning findings against Lesedi Municipality

Public Protector makes damning findings against Lesedi Municipality

Eyewitness News reporter Edwin Ntshidi gives a summary of the findings made by Mkhwebane.

Workplace toxicity: In a new exponential world, command and control doesn't work

Workplace toxicity: In a new exponential world, command and control doesn't work

Azania Mosaka speaks to Cycan CEO Bryan Hattingh about the difference between a tough leader and a toxic leader.

What Prince? 'He made it clear that he just wants to be called Harry'

What Prince? 'He made it clear that he just wants to be called Harry'

EWN UK correspondent Gavin Grey says the prince completed his final round of royal duties on Wednesday in Scotland.

Still no mayor for Tshwane after EFF and ANC walk out of council meeting

Still no mayor for Tshwane after EFF and ANC walk out of council meeting

The two parties are persistent with their calls for speaker Katlego Mathebe to resign.

Get moving Joburg – the Discovery 947 Rhythm Run is here!

Get moving Joburg – the Discovery 947 Rhythm Run is here!

Joburg’s hippest race – the Discovery 947 Rhythm Run promises to get people moving in more ways than one.

Budget appeased rating agencies but showdown looms with unions - Karima Brown

Budget appeased rating agencies but showdown looms with unions - Karima Brown

Eusebius McKaiser facilitates a conversation on Tito Mboweni's speech with different pundits.

'Maybe us as guys don't understand how bad gender-based violence is'

'Maybe us as guys don't understand how bad gender-based violence is'

Callers on the open line share stories of how women are living in fear in the country and how bad the situation is.

[WATCH] London underground train singer performing Shallow on Ellen goes viral

[WATCH] London underground train singer performing Shallow on Ellen goes viral

Khabazela shares some of the videos that went viral on Twitter and Facebook.

Unions not happy with Mboweni's announcement to cut public wage bill by 1%

Unions not happy with Mboweni's announcement to cut public wage bill by 1%

Public Servants Association's Reuben Maleka says the government is trying to pit unions against the public.