argument-bench-breakup

Letting go and moving on after a relationship ends

Dealing with a divorce or the end of a relationship takes a heavy toll - there's raw emotional pain to deal with, possibly shame and guilt.

On Weekend Breakfast, Gushwell Brooks asks clinical psychologist Dimakatso Maboea for her advice on acceptance and moving on after a breakup.

She says it often hinges on how we deal with receiving an "unfavourable truth" from a partner.

We need to be careful about how we receive this unfavourable truth - it's the truth of the other, it doesn't say anything about me.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I need not assume if a relationship ends, that I have done something wrong or I'm not good enough.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I'll still need to search at a later stage if I have a bearing in it, a responsibility.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

She says it's wise to limit the information you receive about an ex-partner.

Also make a break, at least temporarily, with those things that will trigger memories of the person.

Announce perhaps to your family and friends that they need not give you information about the other - what he's doing, when he's getting promoted...

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

I think protect yourself and be kind to yourself.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

Also small things like the favourite bottle of wine we had together, cut that out a bit. The music we listened to, find another genre. If it was RnB, maybe you want to start listening to jazz.

Dimakatso Maboea, Clinical psychologist

Maboea suggests picking one friend to confide in, rather than letting everyone in your circle in on the details of what happened. This also protects you from divergent views on how you should be moving forward.

For more advice on surviving a breakup, click on the link below:


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