Why listening to your child is important
"But mom/dad, weren't you listening? I just told you!"
How often has this been your child's indignant response when you ask them a question?
In the busy families of today, multi-tasking parents sometimes forget how important it is to _really _listen to their kids, says parenting expert Nikki Bush.
She lists three fundamentally important questions children ask their parents non-verbally every single day:
-
Do you see me?
-
Do you hear me?
-
Am I important to you?
Aside from being distracted by the need to multi-task, there's another habit that affects the quality of an interchange - thinking of what your reply is going to be, instead of listening to what's being said with your full attention.
Bush quotes from the book "25 Ways to Win with People":
'The fundamental cause of nearly all communication problems is that people don't listen to understand, they listen to reply.'
Nikki Bush, Parenting expert
This happens not only with our children, but in all our relationships.
Nikki Bush, Parenting expert
Bush says when it comes to young children particularly, vocalising a thought is a slow process because the brain is learning a new skill.
She advises guarding against the temptation to cut them off, or finish their sentences.
It short-circuits that communication loop and they start feeling like we're not listening to them, or that their ideas are not good enough.
Nikki Bush, Parenting expert
This can affect self-esteem and confidence. In families with more than one child, it can also result in an older or more articulate sibling talking for the other.
For more on this important topic, take a listen:
More from Lifestyle

If interest rate remains stable, 2021 to bring more surprises in property market
Despite the pandemic, 2020 saw a rally in residential property sales. Andrew Golding examines the trends expected in 2021.
Read More
Top universities offering 1,500 free courses online. Grab the opportunity!
Harvard, Oxford, MIT... We need to take responsibility for keeping ourselves on the cutting edge, says futurist Graeme Codrington.
Read More
There's (still) a hippo on the loose in Fourways! Here's what you need to know
It seems that it's much easier to get a quote from Hippo.co.za than to find an actual hippo on the loose in Fourways!
Read More
6 trends that will drag us along in 2021 – life will never be the same again
The future is now different. The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews trends analyst Dion Chang, the founder of Flux Trends.
Read More
Enjoy the 702 Soundtracks Of My Life
Spotify has a soundtrack playlist for you, tailored by your favourite newsmakers for you to indulge in.
Read More
Economy in 2021: 'Expect a better year for South African assets'
An economist expects China growth at 9.5%, US money-printing, rising metal prices and trade- and current-account surpluses in SA.
Read More
Formal rape case opened against DJ Fresh and Euphonik
Earlier this week, a woman took to Twitter, accusing DJ Fresh and Euphonik of drugging and raping her in 2011.
Read More
Retirement funds in SA are changing – new laws come into effect on 1 March 2021
Bruce Whitfield asks personal finance advisor Warren Ingram to explain in detail the new laws affecting provident funds.
Read More
Don't fall for promises of high returns from latest investment scam, warns FSCA
A new scam is surfacing on Facebook and WhatsApp groups. The masterminds are even using the FSP number of a legitimate company.
Read More
Telegram now counts 500m active users. 'People are rebelling against Facebook!'
The new privacy policy being implemented by WhatsApp's parent company is the straw that broke the consumer's back - Toby Shapshak
Read More