[LISTEN] Tools to understand and manage intimate conflict
Couples may be experiencing tension and disease during the lockdown, which has highlighted all the relationship differences and issues that they once managed to conceal or paper over.
In this week's Talking Sex feature, clinical sexologist Dr Eve talks about how better to resolve your differences or manage conflict in a healthy and positive manner.
Drawing from American psychological researcher and clinician John Gottman's work on divorce prediction and marital stability, Dr Eve shares the example of The Sound Relationship House to give couples tools on how to achieve greater understanding, connection, and intimacy in their relationships.
The levels of The Sound Relationship House are:
Build Love Maps - get to know each other by being curious about each other’s internal world.
Share Fondness and Admiration - ongoing verbal and practical demonstrations of fondness and admiration
Turn Towards Instead of Away - attach rather than detach from each other
The Positive Perspective - seek out and state the positives you see in each other- daily
Make Life Dreams Come True - facilitate your partner’s individual dreams being realised
Create Shared Meaning - create couple goals /dreams.
The bottom of it is you have to build your love map which means getting to know each other, being curious about each others internal world - who were your parents, who did you hate the most, what were your traumas? We get to know that and keep asking thatDr Eve, Clinical sexologist
And then he talks about the 'house is built on sharing, fondness and admiration'. We're looking at what a healthy relationship is. It is having ongoing, verbal, practical demonstrations of your fondness and admiration.Dr Eve, Clinical sexologist
When you're feeling sad, unhappy or anxious, you turn towards your partner rather than away to go and soothe yourself. You want to attach rather than detach.Dr Eve, Clinical sexologist
Click on the link below to hear more...
Govt publishes list of high risk countries after mistakes made at the press briefing. Flight Centre's Andrew Stark responds.Read More
Veteran stockbroker David Shapiro schools The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield on investing post-Covid and into the next few years.Read More
Pharma Dynamics spokesperson Nicole Jennings says there is a lot of hidden salt in the food we consume.Read More
"We aim to do banking differently," says Bettr cofounder Tobie van Zyl. "The traditional banking model is going to evaporate."Read More
Kevin Lings (Chief Economist, Stanlib) opens up about his attitude to money (hopes and fears, successes and failures, etc.).Read More
Bruce Cameron discusses with Bruce Whitfield his new book on securing your retirement, despite corruption and the smashed economy.Read More
SA needs homes. Plenty of them. They can and should be constructed with wood, says Phillip Crafford (Stellenbosch University).Read More
The best time to plan your child's future is right now... Here's how to win full academic bursary from AAA School of Advertising!Read More
Your financial future – even if you have to start over – could be brighter than it would’ve been without the pandemic.Read More
The Covid-19 pandemic's moving us towards a cashless society. Arabile Gumede interviews Ukheshe co-founder, Clayton Hayward.Read More