How to argue fairly and effectively

Have you heard the phrase arguments are a part of life? The good news is there is such a thing as a healthy argument.

Dr Helgo Schomer says healthy arguing takes practice and can be learned like any skill and once you’ve cracked how to do it you’ll find your disagreements far more productive.

He says that communication is very important and not an opportunity to insult the other person.

7 rules to a fair and effective argument

  • Talk to your partner when he/she is ready to talk - ask for permission
  • Pick a good time and place
  • Be a good listener and find out what the issue is
  • Know how to deliver criticism and be responsible for what you say
  • Evaluate why you want to engage in this argument
  • Be specific
  • Know that you can agree to disagree

When an argument is not getting anywhere or getting heated Dr Schomer says ‘incubate’ meaning you take time off and cool down – come back and finish your argument.

Listen to the full conversation on The Redi Tlhabi Show:


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