How to deal with your partner's ex and make blended families work

Blended family is simply a family that includes children from a previous marriage of the wife, husband, or both parents.

About 75% of divorcees eventually remarry and most have children from their previous relationships.

CapeTalk/702 Redi Tlhabi explores the complexities of a blended family with creative parenting expert, Nikki Bush:

A picture of a mother, father, two children and a dog is not necessarily an ideal family; in fact it is very rare today

Nikki Bush - Parenting expert

According to Bush, blended families have their own challenges but it is important to create a safe environment for the children.

Redi Tlhabi also spoke to Ilze Alberts, Educational Psychologist and Co-author of Easy Answers to Awkward Questions about her experiences with blended families:

Children, money and sex are the biggest problems in relationships

Ilze Alberts, Educational Psychologist and Co-author

To conquer these relationship problems, Alberts says that both partners need to sit down and create a vision for the blended family to work. She says it is advisable to have a vision for 7 generations.

Every decision you make will not only affect this generation but the coming generations as well

Ilze Alberts, Educational Psychologist and Co-author

She spoke about creating visions in 7 areas of life which are:

  • Spiritual vision
  • Financial vision
  • Vocational vision
  • Psychological vision
  • Physical vision
  • Family vision
  • Social vision

Bush says that blended families take time to settle. It can take 2-3 years for things to normalize.

Remember you cannot change the past, but loving your partners children as your own will allow you a peaceful relationship

Nikki Bush - Parenting expert

How to relate to your partners ex:

  • Build a relationship with the mother of your step children
  • Don’t force the children to take sides
  • Don’t bad mouth your partners ex in the presence of your step children
  • Don't try to act like you're the biological parent of your partner's children
  • Don’t dwell on the past
  • If the child is disrespectful, take responsibility and talk to the child. Handle the situation like how you will handle your own children, don’t involve the mother

Listen to the full conversation on The Redi Tlhabi Show:

Read More
No surprise that Nzimande shown the door in Cabinet reshuffle - analyst

No surprise that Nzimande shown the door in Cabinet reshuffle - analyst

Political analyst Karima Brown says SACP members who remain in Cabinet are "at the mercy" of Zuma and will have to strategise.

How we invented the modern concept of sleep

How we invented the modern concept of sleep

Dr Bodhisattva Kar reveals how industrial capitalism influenced the world's current sleep patterns.

Where are the whites at DA led marches?

Where are the whites at DA led marches?

DA's Makashule Gana penned an article in which he responds to journo Karyn Maughan's criticism of the party's marches.

Zuma SCA judgment: Everything you need to know

Zuma SCA judgment: Everything you need to know

Advocate James Grant provides pithy analysis on SCA decision that withdrawing charges against President Jacob Zuma was irrational.

Could boarding school work for your child? Here's advice on how to figure it out

Could boarding school work for your child? Here's advice on how to figure it out

Boarding school isn't for everyone. Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane says some considerations need to be made before deciding.

The unfinished business of apartheid: Families in search of truth

The unfinished business of apartheid: Families in search of truth

Eusebius McKaiser chats about the unfinished business of apartheid and what the ramifications of this are for SA today.

Popular articles
Why Sisulu and Dlamini-Zuma aren't suitable Presidential candidates: analyst

Why Sisulu and Dlamini-Zuma aren't suitable Presidential candidates: analyst

ANC branch in the Eastern Cape, Z.R Mahabana, has launched a campaign backing Lindiwe Sisuslu as an ANC presidential candidate.

It's not the end of the road... Top tips to improve your matric

It's not the end of the road... Top tips to improve your matric

"Recognise that it’s not the end, it’s the beginning." Expert advise for school-leavers who want to improve their results.

Gospel singer Sipho Makhabane explains how Sfiso Ncwane died

Gospel singer Sipho Makhabane explains how Sfiso Ncwane died

Makhabane says Ncwane was feeling weak yesterday and his wife phoned paramedics to check on him.

14 job titles that callers can't take seriously

14 job titles that callers can't take seriously

People do some very interesting things for a living, but some job titles are given more credit than others.

Pamela Nomvete on her downfalls as actress, and 'climbing back'

Pamela Nomvete on her downfalls as actress, and 'climbing back'

This week Xolani Gwala's speaks to former Generations actor Pamela Nomvete for #WhatInTheWorldHappenedTo feature.

Who is Advocate Tembeka Ngcukaitobi?

Who is Advocate Tembeka Ngcukaitobi?

The EFF lawyer stole the show during the state capture report court battle.

‘I started my thriving business with R5000 (and made a profit in the 1st month)’

‘I started my thriving business with R5000 (and made a profit in the 1st month)’

After 3 years there are 3 Nic Harry stores (incl online) that sell 100 000 pairs of socks in over 20 countries around the world.

3 easy questions could bag you R2000!

3 easy questions could bag you R2000!

WIN R2000! But only if you can prove you're a whiz of the MTN Biz Quiz by answering the following three questions...

Blesserfinder: Matching you with a sugar daddy near you

Blesserfinder: Matching you with a sugar daddy near you

Is social trend Blesserfinder, where girls are allegedly matching up with rich 'benefactors' in exchange for sex, a real thing?