How to deal with your partner's ex and make blended families work

Blended family is simply a family that includes children from a previous marriage of the wife, husband, or both parents.

About 75% of divorcees eventually remarry and most have children from their previous relationships.

CapeTalk/702 Redi Tlhabi explores the complexities of a blended family with creative parenting expert, Nikki Bush:

A picture of a mother, father, two children and a dog is not necessarily an ideal family; in fact it is very rare today

Nikki Bush - Parenting expert

According to Bush, blended families have their own challenges but it is important to create a safe environment for the children.

Redi Tlhabi also spoke to Ilze Alberts, Educational Psychologist and Co-author of Easy Answers to Awkward Questions about her experiences with blended families:

Children, money and sex are the biggest problems in relationships

Ilze Alberts, Educational Psychologist and Co-author

To conquer these relationship problems, Alberts says that both partners need to sit down and create a vision for the blended family to work. She says it is advisable to have a vision for 7 generations.

Every decision you make will not only affect this generation but the coming generations as well

Ilze Alberts, Educational Psychologist and Co-author

She spoke about creating visions in 7 areas of life which are:

  • Spiritual vision
  • Financial vision
  • Vocational vision
  • Psychological vision
  • Physical vision
  • Family vision
  • Social vision

Bush says that blended families take time to settle. It can take 2-3 years for things to normalize.

Remember you cannot change the past, but loving your partners children as your own will allow you a peaceful relationship

Nikki Bush - Parenting expert

How to relate to your partners ex:

  • Build a relationship with the mother of your step children
  • Don’t force the children to take sides
  • Don’t bad mouth your partners ex in the presence of your step children
  • Don't try to act like you're the biological parent of your partner's children
  • Don’t dwell on the past
  • If the child is disrespectful, take responsibility and talk to the child. Handle the situation like how you will handle your own children, don’t involve the mother

Listen to the full conversation on The Redi Tlhabi Show:

Read More
The chilling tale of Marikana told through song

The chilling tale of Marikana told through song

'Marikana - The Musical' Aubrey Sekhabi's adaptation of a novel by journos entitled “We are going to kill each other today".

An expert guide on 'hotwifing' and 'cuckolding' in the bedroom

An expert guide on 'hotwifing' and 'cuckolding' in the bedroom

Clinical sexologist Dr Eve shares insights into sexual fetishes and how partners negotiate them in their bedroom and relationship.

The Naked Scientist reveals how birds are able to find their way around

The Naked Scientist reveals how birds are able to find their way around

Every week The Naked Scientist offers listeners the opportunity to probe his brain on anything weird and quirky.

Jay Naidoo: Organised communities have the power to create change

Jay Naidoo: Organised communities have the power to create change

Social activist Jay Naidoo has written a book which explores the power of human connection and social activism.

Local bee farming company Native Nosi creating a buzz with raw honey

Local bee farming company Native Nosi creating a buzz with raw honey

Native Nosi owner Mokgadi Mabela says over 50% of honey sold in SA is imported and she wants to change the business landscape.

How do we ensure the safety of women in South Africa?

How do we ensure the safety of women in South Africa?

Women's Legal Centre and POWA discuss ways to ensuring the legal system stops failing women of South Africa.

Popular articles
It's not the end of the road... Top tips to improve your matric

It's not the end of the road... Top tips to improve your matric

"Recognise that it’s not the end, it’s the beginning." Expert advise for school-leavers who want to improve their results.

Gospel singer Sipho Makhabane explains how Sfiso Ncwane died

Gospel singer Sipho Makhabane explains how Sfiso Ncwane died

Makhabane says Ncwane was feeling weak yesterday and his wife phoned paramedics to check on him.

How Naspers paid peanuts for Tencent (China’s most valuable company)

How Naspers paid peanuts for Tencent (China’s most valuable company)

In 2001 Naspers invested $32 million in (then tiny) Tencent. Learn more about the wildly profitable Chinese behemoth...

Who is Advocate Tembeka Ngcukaitobi?

Who is Advocate Tembeka Ngcukaitobi?

The EFF lawyer stole the show during the state capture report court battle.

Meet the founder of Capitec Bank, named ‘Best Bank on Earth and Cheapest in SA’

Meet the founder of Capitec Bank, named ‘Best Bank on Earth and Cheapest in SA’

Michiel le Roux speaks about the fascinating story behind the little bank that has the Big 4 shaking in their boots.

3 easy questions could bag you R2000!

3 easy questions could bag you R2000!

WIN R2000! But only if you can prove you're a whiz of the MTN Biz Quiz by answering the following three questions...

Blesserfinder: Matching you with a sugar daddy near you

Blesserfinder: Matching you with a sugar daddy near you

Is social trend Blesserfinder, where girls are allegedly matching up with rich 'benefactors' in exchange for sex, a real thing?

5 ways the NSFAS funding model will change in 2017

5 ways the NSFAS funding model will change in 2017

The National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS) will pilot a new funding model in 2017. NSFAS chairperson Sizwe Nxasana explains.