What song are we talking about? And why are its words so daft?
• It’s a Christmas carol that much we all agree on after that it all gets a bit confusing.
• The most common theory is that it was originally a French folk song and the actual lyrics were been garbled when it was taken up by English peasants probably at the time of the Norman conquest. (French for partridge is perdrix – pronounced per-dree – becomes pear tree). Which is why it makes almost no sense.
• Some say it is a closet Catholic catechism song from the time when Catholicism was violently discouraged in England – according to this view it is in code – the partridge is Jesus, the 4 5 gold rings are the first 5 books of the Old Testament, the 11 pipers piping are the 11 faithful apostles etc.
• I don’t see hidden Catholicism, I see hidden food. It can be made deliciously foodie if you just try hard enough…
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me: a partridge in a pear tree.
There are 3 ways to go on the first day; booze, blood or vegan
• Booze: how about making a Christmastini – pear vodka, lemon juice, thyme (the leaves of the tree), pear juice. My feeling is that the ratio should be 1/3 vodka, 2/3rds juice, splash of lemon juice but really your Christmastini, your call.
• Blood: you won’t find a partridge but Braeside Meat (011 788 3613).have a small supply of local francolin. (which are very similar birds in terms of taste and texture and actually used to be known as grey partridges). If you want one you need to stop listening and phone now if you want one because they have about 20 in stock. They are R85/kg a bird (plain) OR R130/kg stuffed with roasted balsamic pears and water chestnuts wrapped in slow cured streaky bacon.
• Blood mark 2: The bad news is that 20 francolins is not a lot of grey partridges. The good news is that Braeside also have reindeer in stock. And it’s an eco-epicurean purchase – the land owners in the Cradle of Humankind have been told that they have to get rid of the ‘invader’ reindeer that run about on the land (who knew) so there is an enforced cull. They apparently were brought in by a daft rand lord for sport but they are damaging the eco system so its our duty to eat Rudolph. Braeside have reindeer loin, sealed and wrapped in mushroom duxelle, slow cured streaky bacon and puff pastry R195-00/kg for a loin that will feed 4 - 6 people. Alternatively R145/ kg buys you Rudolph’s leg stuffed with garlic, rosemary, cranberries and marinated in port (will feed 10-12 people).
• Vegan: If eating Rudolph is more than you can handle why not have a vegan pear, pomegranate and persimmon salad from Brittany at Jozi Uncooked 084 200 3400; joziuncooked@gmail.com; www.joziuncooked.com. She has very kindly supplied the recipe if you want to try yourself but the all the best lazy vegans get Brittany to make it for them.
Persimmon, Pear & Pomegranate Salad
Serves 4.
Ingredients:
4-6 cups of mixed baby greens
seeds (called arils) of 1 pomegranate (about ½ to 2/3 cup)
2 persimmons, peeled and sliced thin (firmer ones are easier to use in a salad)
2 small ripe pears, diced
juice of ½ pink grapefruit
juice of 1 orange
¼ cup olive oil
sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
• Toss greens, pomegranate arils, persimmon slices and pears in a big salad bowl.
• Whisk grapefruit juice, orange juice and olive oil in a small bowl to combine. Add salt and pepper to taste.
• Before serving, pour dressing over salad and toss to coat.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love sent to me 2 turtle doves
• Bake a Cake (516 Karel Trichard Avenue Mountain View, Pretoria; 012 377 2668; herculesbaking@icon.co.za; www.bakeacake.co.za) is the most exciting baking emporium in the history of history.
• They stock over 30000 baking tools. They have biscuit cutters in every imaginable shape from butterflies and poodles to handbags and bikinis.
• AND for our purposes the good news is that they sell dove shaped cutters.
On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me 3 French hens
• La Marina sell French Coquelet (grain fed baby roosters with a distinct yellow flesh and an astonishingly tender texture.) La Marina - 011 997 0500 in the Long Meadow Business estate, Modderfontein. The price is R162.99 p/kg. They are an average of 400g so that’s about 70R each.
• A quick, simple and delicious way to prepare a coquelet is to rub with olive oil and coat liberally with coarse salt. Stuff inside with lemon wedges and fresh thyme. Oven bake at 200 Deg for 20 - 40 min. A great summer alternative is to cook them on a weber kettle braai.
Sauce for the French hen?
• The trouble with very young animals is that they are tender but without much flavour so you need quite a punchy sauce to give them depth. Why not go with Chimichurri (originally from Argentina) made with parsley, oregano, garlic, lime zest, onion and chives:
• But who wants to be chopping when there are cocktails to drink? So why not buy your chimichurri from Hannay Sauces (no artificial flavouring, no colourants, no long-life chemicals) 250ml for R45. Available at Thrupps in Illovo, Broadacres Super Spar, Fruits & Roots in Bryanston, Linden Cheese Gourmet. Or direct from Charles Hannay; Cell : 072 848 7701; charleshannay@gmail.com; hannayfoods@gmail.com
On the Fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 4 Colly birds-
• I know you all think it’s a calling bird but its not. It’s a Colly bird – which is an old English term for a black bird.
• Colly as in colliery as in where you find coal.
• It’s not a colliery but it is a mine – go to Cullinan. Right next to the mine is the Cockpit Brewery(80 Oak Avenue, Cullinan;012 734 0656; 082 902 9669;brewmaster@brewhouse.co.za)
• There you will find André De Beer who is a self-confessed ‘beer nerd’ - his Helles Belles Blond Ale, Fokker Weiss, Spitfire English Pale Ale, Mustang American Pale Ale and Black Widow Stout are so, so good
• In addition to the afore mentioned regularly available beers he also makes seasonal ales which he calls “my brewmaster's indulgence” - so look out for extreme/ wacky beers flavours such as chocolate cherry stout!.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love sent to me five gold rings:
• It is important to recognise that Linger Longer had its Golden Jubilee this year. And we are all so, so much poorer for Walter Ulz’s death.
• But I know, know, know Walter would have loved the edible gold rings with exquisite edible diamonds made by Ray Esmany at Crystal Candy. 082 900958, 011 9544480, www.chocoholicimpact.co.za; ray@crystalcandy.co.za
• She makes one of a kind chocolate and sugar rings. A crystal candy diamond creation, mounted on a fondant ring and presented in a beautiful box, would be ±R200.
• A Paris Hilton over the top masterpiece would be anything up to R500.
• They are deliciously daft and so, so pretty. And for R500 you get a rock worthy of Kim Kardashian.
• My wedding ring got stolen in an armed robbery recently and I think I might get myself a sugar diamond as a replacement – you just have to remember to take it off when you wash up.
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love sent to me 6 geese a laying
I know I have mentioned them before but Green Goose Organic Farm Ficksburger Cheese the best Christmas present imaginable. Where can you buy Ficksburger in JHB? The Cheese Gourmet, 011 888 5384, 71 Seventh Street corner 3rd avenue, Linden, Johannesburg Or via www.greengoose.co.za; (recommended sales price R80 for a 10cm wheel)
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