Secret Santa - delicious ways to take the kitchen schlep out of Christmas...

• Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat.
• I am not condoning it but I am recognising that for most people in 702land Christ has long gone from Christmas and in his place is a festival of fat, sugar and booze.
• Whether or not this bothers you is a personal decision. But all that eating and drinking means that someone is doing a lot of shopping, cooking and washing up.
• If that someone is you and you spend your Xmas holidays rushing around shops buying ingredients or red faced in the kitchen you will not start 2011 in the right frame of mind.
• It is your patriotic duty to start 2011 in a mood to build the economy so we can all live happily ever after.
• What follows are some super simple, predominantly proudly South African ways to have yourself a merry yet yummy and lazy little Christmas...
• Emphasis on things you can order on line and have delivered - why leave your spot on the stoep with your gin and tonic more than is absolutely necessary?

To buy and 'cook' (well heat up and pretend to have cooked): Duck confit in a tin from La Marina 011 9970500
• Everyone loves duck confit (what's not to love about duck slow cooked in its own fat?). But who wants to faff about with duck fat. Just buy a tin of the French stuff and whip up an orange sauce.
• La Marina sell tins of duck confit (12 legs = between R420 and R368 depending on which brand you buy.
• Plus they sell the truly bizarre, available no where else, Diet Cherry Coke - R9.99 not cheap but fun for Xmas.

For the hell guest who won't eat anything - out source the angst to the fabulous raw food chef Brittany Kesselman 084 2003400
• Jozi Uncooked creates raw and vegan culinary masterpieces which are as tasty as they are good for you.
• She offers everything from seriously sexy salads to marinated mushrooms, raw almond herb cheese, chocolate truffles (no refined sugar, no dairy, no gluten, raw cacao, high in anti oxidants) and the cranberry topped raw cashew cream cake.
• Even if you don't eat her stuff over Xmas she is running cooking classes from early january and will sell gift certificates (R250 - 350 R)so you can get healthy after Xmas.
If you are perfectly normal in your eating habits but you still don't want to cook: Linger Longer - 011 884 0465
• This one you need to book now, now, now! Walter Ulz is doing Christmas Eve dinner and he has a few spots left.
If you miss out he opens again on the 10th of January.
• But dont miss out. Phone now! R395 per person 6 course dinner menu (starts rosti potato truffle foie gras topping, salmon and oyster cerviche, artichoke heart with scallops, turkey breast stuffed with chestnuts and thyme, christmas parfait etc, etc...

To drink: The world's easiest, proudly South African/ proudly South African offerings in a glass...

SUPER EASY COCKTAIL 1: Babtini anyone?(aloe and baobab juice with Jorgensen's Primitiv vodka)

Totally Wild Cape Aloe and Baobab juice www.totallywild.co.za. 021 7010744 NB. available at most of the bigger Pick and Pays and Spars and lots of delis
• Aloe and Baobab is the brand new flavour from this fantastically innovative, local is lekker company.
• The juice of these indigenous ingredients tastes like a cross between pear and lime.
• High antioxidants and calcium and iron and vitamin c that you will positively buzz with good health.
• Then add vodka for a not so much health but more fun...
• But what vodka to add?

Jorgensen's Distillery - 021 864 1777 - www.primitiv.co.za customercare@jd7.co.za;
021 864 1777/ 082 5642512 (its in Norman Goodfellows in Illovo and will be in the
new P and P on William Nicol in time for Xmas approximately R220 for a 750ml bottle.)
• This Wellington-based micro-distillery is committed to renewable energy so you can sip secure in the knowledge that all bi-products are composted and recycled.
• For anyone who ever thought vodka is a vodka is a vodka this is the drink to change your mind. It tastes spectacular - silky smooth top notes of peppery spice are complemented by light floral, anise touches.
• They are about to release a gin (March 2011) - infused with grains of paradise from West Africa that has me so excited I can hardly contain myself.
• If you are in the Cape for Xmas they do tasting and tours of the distillery.

As to how to make it the ratio is entirely up to you I would go with a 1 vodka: 3 baobab and aloe juice SUPER EASY COCKTAIL OPTION 2: Dorahtini anyone? (Joburg Beer [available in many supermarkets and any township shebeen] mixed with vanilla ice cream)
• I know everyone in the townships does this at xmas but I have named it after Dorah Sitole who first showed me how to do this.
• Don't be a snob. Why cant you buy booze that comes in a box?
• This traditional African style umqombothi beer comes in a carton.
• And is worth buying for the competitions on the side of the box alone!
• At the moment the box also has a win a bull competition printed on the side - that's right the real live farm animal!
• But even if you don't want to win a bull you will love the drink's creamy texture and a gentle sourness. Ripe for a retro-chic revival.
• Add vanilla ice cream (ratio equal quantities) and blend together
To give: foodie gifts that are no bother to buy...
The book that keeps on giving Seed to Table
• Some people still haven't lost sight of the Christmas as a being a good person theme.
• If this is you, the perfect present is a lovely little cookbook called Seed to Table - it has beautiful photos, delicious proudly South African recipes (perfect bean bredies, pumpkin soups, great Xhosa classics).
• It is absurdly cheap at R100 per copy (plus postage) contact Doreen Gowans gowsie@iafrica.com.
• It has been put together by a lovely organisation called Harvest of Hope who coordinate township food gardens.
• Yummy, virtuous, inexpensive.
Make the present problem go away - someone else to pick and wrap - Cheese Gourmet hampers 011 888 5384 71 Seventh Street corner 3rd avenue, Linden, Johannesburg
• Hampers of wonderful food goodies (everything from charcuterie to award winning cheese and torone nougat) ready made in baskets or boxes, or make up your own hamper and the staff at the Cheese Gourmet will wrap it for you.
• Best of all the shop is open right up to Xmas so last minute is possible. (NB. closed on 25th and 27th December but open Thursday Dec 16 08h00 – 15h00, December 24 08h00 – 15h00).