People who want to spend lots of money can afford not to plan their February 14 dining. For those of us who are too stingy to blow a fortune on last minute millionaire bookings at posh places, a little more planning is necessary. Hence the list of valentine foodie things 10 days before the event. This is the guide to how to spend R300, R100, R50 and R25 on those you love and those you just like a bit. All prices are for 2 pax – more than 2 and you’re doing it wrong.

Venus’s belly button for two for under R300 – if you collect it yourself (it costs more if delivered)
Arnold Tanzer at Food on the Move will do you Tortellini stuffed with ricotta and pinenuts in honour of the Goddess Venus. He will follow this with a saffron and cardamom infused Persian Pilaf (Tahcheen) and a summer berry semi freddo.

Why Tortellini?
There is an Italian myth that the Goddess came to earth and put up in an inn. The inn keeper thought she was so beautiful that he peeped through the key hole while she was bathing and all he could see was her belly button. He went away and immortalised it in pasta.

Cheating can be good for a marriage
He puts his food into your dishes and gives you heating instructions so that you can pretend you did it yourself. Because a little domestic deception on Valentine’s day is not a bad thing.

Food on the Move
45 Juta Street, Braamfontein - 011 403 1232.

Peeled Grapes and Cranberry hearts for under R100
Faith Ruben will do you peeled grapes set in a Rosé wine jelly, zabaglione ice cream and cranberry shortbreads in heart shapes. You need to collect and bring a good cooler box. She is in Parkurst, she is available by appointment only and bookings can be made on 011 447 1548.

Naked buttocks and an exceedingly sharp fork for R50
Not all true love is as wholesome as low GI bread. This year why not follow the Marquis de Sade’s advice in 120 days of Sodom when he recommends “a plain omelet served piping hot on the buttocks of a naked woman and eaten with an exceedingly sharp fork”.

Should you decide to take the mad Marquis’s serving suggestion seriously, The Unusual Food Store in Kensington will sell you some very nice sausages to accompany the omelet. A pepper packed Cumberland sausage or a cayenne laden New Orleans Chaurice would be the perfect partner to Valentine vice.

The Unusual Food Store
In Kensington but by appointment only - 011 615 4184.

Elegance for the truly stingy – creative stuff to do with rose petals
Carlton Café have organic crab apple and rose petal jelly with rose petals set into the jelly for R25. Pink and pretty.

Carlton Delicious
71 13th street, Menlo Park, Pretoria - 012 460 7996.