Is Valentine’s day still possible if you have children?

• Hallmark cards would have us believe that Valentine’s day is just about consenting adults with unlimited time and money staring into each other’s eyes over Champagne and chocolate hearts.
• And in a sense that’s true because anyone with children will tell you that nothing gets in the way of clichéd cupid moments as effectively as kids.
• Parents of small children have the evidence of that they once did romantic things together all over them all the time but not all that much time for the moonlight and roses stuff.
• Traditionally romantic restaurants have been child free spaces but given that we live in a society where even the President has several young children we need to find ways for kids and romance to co-exist

So where can the President go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day with his babies?

• The good news is that there are now a range of restaurateurs who understand the President’s problem and are actively catering for kids in their Valentine’s day offerings.
• I’m not sure any of them would let you bring 20 children but one or two is now relatively easy to arrange.
• It is important to know where such places are both for those parents who want to make a booking and also for the people who quite reasonably don’t want their romantic dinners with a side of Barney.

NB. ALL THE PLACES LISTED HAD TABLES THIS MORNING BUT THEY ARE SELLING LIKE HOT CAKES SO BOOK NOW.

BEFORE WE EVEN START I WANT TO SAY I LIKE BABIES AND I AM GLAD THE PRESIDENT DOES TOO. I AM SHOCKED THAT IN ALL THE HOO-HAR REGARDING THIS LATEST BABY NOT ONE OF THE CRITICS HAS STOPPED LONG ENOUGH TO CONGRATULATE THE BABY’S MOTHER.BABIES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND EXHAUSTING AND I THINK SHE DESERVES A KIND WORD.

People with very little babies don’t really have a problem

• If the President is planning a night out with Sonono Khoza and 4 month old Thandekile Matina Zuma he doesn’t need to worry about jumping castles and kiddie menus.
• Very little babies will sleep under the table in the smartest of epicurean establishments without making a fuss. Unless the President and Ms Khoza are very unlucky - no one will even know Thandekile is there.
• Perhaps the President would like to try Linger Longer Tel 011884 0465. I have spoken to the manager and he says they won’t take toddlers but they will take tiny babies for their Valentine lunch. R395 a head buys you an orgy of foie gras, artichoke hearts, tuna carpaccio, scallops, porcini, salmon, duck, veal, trout and chocolate mousse.
• But maybe Linger Longer is a bit far. Mothers with new babies are often tired and perhaps a restaurant closer to home would work better for them. Ms Khoza lives in Soweto so why not have a romantic lunch or even overnight stay at the Soweto Hotel on Freedom Square in Kliptown. The set lunch menu is R160 a head. They also have an overnight package which includes dinner, cocktails, a night in the hotel, breakfast the next day for R1300. Call the Soweto Hotel on 011 527 7300.

But the President has older rug rats too and if the plan is to go out with them then he is going to have to think more carefully.

I have done some research as to how old the president’s children are and what sort of restaurants would suit them best. There are a few that I can’t find ages for but what I do know is that:

• He has a three year old with fiancé Gloria Ngema,
• His children with with Thobeka Madiba are two and four
• His children with wife Nompumelelo Ntuli were born in 2002 and 2006 so they are 4 and 8years old respectively.
These are all children of an age where putting them under the table in a carry cot is not going to work. So where to go?

Auberge Michel Tel 011 883 7013 Sunday 14th Lunch has a kids menu and a jumping castle on site. They also have a new Executive Chef from France Chef Yo Saumande, who has worked for Georges Blanc (3 star Michelin Restaurant) and also the famous Hotel Ritz in Paris.For R395 while the kiddies jump the grown ups can treat themselves to orange juice braised prawns, vegetable terrine with truffle vinaigrette, Roast kingklip with porcini and beurre blanc, Karoo Lamb, and a chocolate and pistachio cake with mango sorbet,

18th Avenue Bistro, Pretoria Tel 012 751 2212 set menu Valentine’s day lunch. Children will be supervised inside while adults have a romantic afternoon on the veranda. R220 buys you sparkling wine, prawn bisque, roast lamb and chocolate mousse. R160 gets you sparkling wine asparagus risotto, poached trout and rose poached pears.

What about his grown up children?

• Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma’s four children were born in 1985, 1987, 1988, 1990 so they are now 25, 23, 22, 20 respectively.
• Kate Mantsho’s five children were born in 1980, 1984, 1989 and 1993 so they are also in their 20s and early 30s

The President’s grown up children don’t want to be bumping into their dad on a date. No one wants to see their dad doing a Teddy Pendergrass impression.

My advice to the President is to avoid the restaurant at the Inanda Club which has become the hot spot for the young ANC elite at play.

On the other hand if you actively want a Dudu Zuma or Julius Malema sighting then the Inanda Club is definitely the place to be.

Great climbing frames for kids too…

Inanda Club restaurant 011 783 2000 is serving a 4 course set menu which includes gazpacho, prawns, kingklip, tiramisu and malva pudding.

NB. non members can use the restaurant but you do need to book.