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How to help siblings in blended families get along

27 September 2020 2:22 PM
Tags:
blended family
Blended families
Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane

Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane says parents must be sensitive to where the child is and move at the child's pace.

Knowing how divorce is a reality for a lot of families and therefore the eventualities of blended families may be inevitable. Blending a family and nurturing new sibling relationships isn’t a simple task. It requires us to be thoughtful of each child and remember the separate and long-established histories that everyone brings.

And it is for that reason that we thought to look at the challenges of making a blended family work.

To speak more on how to help siblings in blended families get along, Refiloe Mpakanyane is joined by clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane.

The rivalry, the jealousy of siblings of the same parents is there, it gets more compounded when it's with a stranger. It's like who are you and why are you here? They eye each other with suspicion as if to say it's your mother, it's your father who did this kind of thing and not knowing what to do with each other.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Very often the adults are so consumed with what's going on between them especially if there is still anger, betrayal and so on and there is financial tussle between them going on.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

The best way is for parents to recognise the fact that the children have not made the choice that they made. The children have to live with a decision that the parents have made and to be so much sensitive to where the child is than where they think the child should be and move at the child's pace.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

They have to recognise that they each come out own family of origin when they have been raised in a certain way. The relationship that just ended had its own dynamics and they need to have a lot of conversations. It is important for parents to be conscious about the fact that they are entering a new space in a relationship and these children are now starting to re-adjust themselves to what they are used to. It doesn't mean it is necessarily a bad thing but the children must be so much prepared for it.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Listen below for the full interview...


27 September 2020 2:22 PM
Tags:
blended family
Blended families
Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane

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